Why do we need to develop a healthy relationship to sadness?

Because we don't have one, as a rule. The consequences of not having a healthy relationship to sadness is that we must do all sorts of compulsive, compliance or attempting to control the universe externally, rather than simply be sad about that which is sad, which mostly includes all the things in the universe that we can't control. The additional problem is that even if we could control the universe, we would still need to be able to feel comfortable about being sad until we get it under control. This is not a great bet, however the mechanics is a good idea in early childhood (completely dependent stage) and not at all necessary as an adult with adult ability to be conceptual and resourceful.

By resourcefulness, it means the ability to enact fight or flight as an adult. This is not a good idea as a child when there is nowhere else to live realistically or perceptually. However, it is very useful, and essential for well being, to have the ability to set and enforce personal boundaries. The inability to do so is another major issue of our times, which is the major cause of many primary or parent/child relationship breakdowns.

We require a healthy relationship to sadness in order to not spend much of our time and relationships trying to avoid it. Nobody has died from sadness, however many have greatly suffered and perished from the inability to deal with it, due to the sense of overwhelm that usually accompanies the sadness as it looms on the horizon of our inner landscape.

Moving into closer relationship with the Sadness part of ourselves, offers the opposite of what this part has been experiencing for a long time. For example, “Your feelings, your sadness is really important and you can cry as much as you like. I love you just because you are part of me, just because you are breathing. You can express yourself however you like and I will look after you and protect you, which was not possible when we were dependent. “

We can also bring permission and encouragement for the expression of sadness opening up welcome signs of relief and tentative joy.